Throughout the years, I have been to many baby showers for friends, family and coworkers - celebrating them and their journey to becoming a mother, even when I didn't feel like celebrating. The thing that people don't tell you with infertility is that your emotions are constantly in conflict with one another - excitement for people growing their family, angry at your own body for not and envy that everyone's lives seem so perfect. At one point, I never thought I would be the one sitting in the chair opening gift bags full of adorable baby things, but I did and it was magical.
The shower was hosted by three women that have been in my life since the day I was born. They grew up with my mom and have been like 2nd, 3rd and 4th mothers to me. We went on trips together and have celebrated every milestone together. When I arrived, Janel (my moms first friend in grade school) immediately told me the story about when my parents told her they were pregnant with me. It was so clear in her memory, as if it were yesterday.
The whole day was filled with laughter, oohhs and aaahhs over cute baby things and people who were genuinely interested in our journey and hearing about where we are and what is to come. If I am being completely honest, I was somewhat anxious going into this day. I wasn't sure how I would feel being showered when we don't have our baby yet. The emotions surrounding an adoption journey are hard to predict and even harder to control. Ultimately, it was one of my most favorite days that I have had recently. The only way I can describe it is "like being wrapped in the tightest hug by 30 people who love you unconditionally." I felt instantly supported and lifted up by every woman in the room. Any anxiousness, sadness, longing just drifted away like it never existed. I am sure the nearly 90 minutes of gift opening also helped distract. We were so spoiled. Colin has said multiple times that our baby, who isn't here with us yet, already has more nice things than we do! I have a feeling that will never change.
There really aren't enough words or ways to thank all of the wonderful women in my life, except to say that I hope that I am a quarter of the mother that each of you are. I have learned from the best.
Now, we continue to wait for our perfect match, but baby, we are ready for you...